Dear Journal

Last night, something agitated me that I couldn’t exactly put myself to bed until I vented. So I took a piece of legal paper and started writing by hand. I began with the words “Dear Journal” because it was meant to be a personal journal post to myself in hopes that I would read it again in the future – and hopefully laugh at it then than how I really feel right now. It wasn’t my intention to publish this on my blog but I felt it was fitting for my theme of my blog (re: I hope my female young professionals can relate:

Dear Journal,

I haven’t written one [journal] in a long time but I just needed to vent. I’ve always been the girl who set expectations with guys I allow in my life. They have to be funny, attractive, smart and little bit of dorky. And after a year and five months of no involvement with any guy, I have found him. He’s not “the one” so to speak. But he is the guy I would love to just have fun with. But my thoughts wander off to the point of insecurity and frustration when he doesn’t message me like I message him. To him, I’m probably just another girl. And I get that, I see it. But why do I want more? Realistically, we’re not a perfect couple [if we ever were]. We have such different tastes and we see life differently right now. I wish I could let go of these thoughts of insecurities. I know I am attractive enough to find the guy for me who wants me as much as I want him – but part of me isn’t ready for that. And yet, part of me isn’t ready for the fling I have going right now. Here I am again alone in my thoughts just going back and forth to what I really want. I wish everything in life just fell perfectly for me. Enough with these thoughts already…